Ménage: Whose Circle of Pleasure?

It’s Friday night. There’s a brother sitting around with his girlfriend wondering what to get into this weekend. Doorbell rings and it’s her best friend, equally bored, trying to get into something, but what? His mind starts to wander to his favorite fantasy. His girl and her best friend getting busy with each other just for him!! If only…

While the ménage a trios is nothing new, it’s surfacing everywhere these days as the next step in sexual relationships. Many say ménage is every man’s biggest fantasy and they are probably right. Most brothers said “definitely” when asked if they would be the third wheel in a threesome. In a recent interview Loon was quoted as saying, “A lot of women are bisexual. In this generation women are experimenting with lesbian lifestyle, and their sexuality. This comes from an extreme effort to please their man.” When asked to clarify whether he thought women were becoming bisexual just to please their men, he said “No….just the more submissive women.” In reality, his take may be closer to the truth than women would like to think.

Since the words ménage a trios never conjure up an image of the ‘two man-one woman’ variation (yes, it does exist), then it must be a man’s game. And in this day and age when the media is trying to convince sister’s that there is a shortage of available, single, heterosexual brothers out here; the game is definitely shifting onto the man’s court. Have we become so sexually free that the lines between straight, gay, and bisexual no longer exist? Recently on a daytime talk show discussing the sexual generation gap between mothers and daughters, there was 22 year old young lady who said the lines are blurring because there’s so much accessibility to sex. “Sex is everywhere and eventually regular sex, no matter how adventurous, doesn’t give you the same high anymore, so women experiment with being erotic with each other in public to turn men on.” That was her claim, but the experts had something else to add. Molly Jong-Fast, daughter of one of the pioneers of the female sexual revolution in the 70’s said, “Sex is about power and whoever receives the pleasure has the power.” Her mother, Erica Jong, stated that girls “servicing their boyfriends” suffer from low self-esteem because they aren’t receiving real pleasure from it, but they won’t admit it to their boyfriends for fear of being alone. The silent pressure on young women, sent out through media messages, has been ‘you have to be sexy to be acceptable to a man’. Is it now changing to say that you have to perform sexually to be acceptable to a man? That’s not real sexual freedom though, or is it?

Yes, there are those who participate in threesomes out of mutual desire and respect; creating a chain reaction of lust and satisfaction. Yes, there are women who are bisexual and want to enjoy the best of both worlds simultaneously. The concern with all of this is; younger and younger people are being exposed to ménage as the norm before they have a chance to establish personal boundaries. And with more young girls dating older men, the pool of willing participants is growing. So as more girls come into womanhood thinking that men control their sexual pleasure, and that their role is to “perform” for these men, what becomes of our sexual revolution? Owning freedom means accepting full responsibility for your choices, so let these choices be your own. Even sexual freedom ain’t free! omf