21 Questions

“Girl...It's easy to love me now / Would you love me if I was down and out? Would you still have love for me?” 50 Cent gave voice to a question most brothas have been kicking around in that back of their minds since the beginning of time. “Is she with me because of who I am or what I have?” If you own an expensive ride, make a lot of money, or rock a six-pack, that’s cool, but if that’s all you got, then a one-dimensional woman is all you’ll attract. Do brothas really feel like they need gadgets to impress women? Why shouldn’t they? If you flip it, women use all kinds of things to attract men. All you have to do is look in a woman’s closet for the evidence, not to mention makeup, nails and shoes. So men use a Benz instead of a dress? It depends.

Are women really attracted by what men have? When I asked this question of random women, the responses went something like this. Some women were blunt and stated that if a guy couldn’t give them what they wanted materially, then there would be no relationship. Others felt that what he owned represented how hard he was willing to work and what type of provider he would be.

The general consensus from the women I spoke with was that gadgets may initially attract them, but if there is no substance behind the glitter, they’re out. A few, however, would simply juggle multiple relationships to keep the financial benefits. During my informal survey, 100% of the women I asked said they knew other women who hooked up with guys just for the ends. For some, it’s all about getting guys to pay their rent, gain them access to the hottest VIP lounge, or lace them with the right jewels. Moira, 24, felt that if all a man is looking for is a trophy girl, he needs to pay for it with whatever currency she chooses. “All relationships are about exchange,” she explains, “it depends on what you want to trade with.”

The men I spoke with had a similar view. Paul, 26, said that women are often attracted to his new SUV. They’ll just stroll up to him while he’s parked, without any effort on his part, asking for rides. He also added that he may be down, if all he wants is a good time, but he’ll never be real with those women ‘cause he knows their game. Paul says he likes his ride and its not there to impress women, but if it does so be it.

So just like in the age old mating ritual, women are still hunting for the one who’s slain the biggest beast and men are still flossing the largest kill to prove they are the alpha male. But if a brotha can no longer catch her car payment or afford to trade up to the newest Escalade, will he find out that his woman can’t handle the 21 Questions?